A diary post in the classic day in the life style today. Think bored primary school teacher asking the kids what they did at the weekend, only for a Monday and the kids in question being a man in his mid-forties.

We live so many lives and forget so many days. Today already involves so many arguably superfluous moments, battling to be remembered: the manager at my gym assuming a crazy hat in lost property would be mine (it wasn’t); a quiz team calling themselves “my favourite team” so I’d have to say “my favourite team” when calling their score out; the inevitable car tailgating me up the hill to Kemptown before the aggressive overtake to get to the next queue of traffic before me. 

The hat was a pork pie one that looked very much like it should be worn by a member of a Madness tribute band / No Doubt.

Today I and my fellow theatre pigeons performed some sketches and some songs to some retired lads at a community centre. Last time we did A Christmas Carol; this time we were determined to do something less depressing. The sketches, written by a friend of Kat’s, were pretty good, and I enjoyed being a policeman in metaphorical spandex and an annoying nepo baby actor demanding a role with exactly one line and five words.

The songs were a bit shambolic, which was partly my fault. A Little Respect sounded titanic, though, and I don’t mean it sank without trace.

This evening, as the “favourite team”’anecdote suggests, I did my second shift as a pub quiz host in Worthing. Everything went very smoothly, and I enjoyed myself picking the music between the questions – basically Motown Gold, discs 1-3.

I’m also proud of myself for drinking nothing stronger than lime and soda. Progress, they call it. It’s very tempting to drink at a pub quiz, but I do so many things as work that are in places of booze, and abstaining and still enjoying the night is an important step for a lad of extreme social anxiety.

And so to bed, as I can hear the last train crossing the viaduct.

Tomorrow I shall have more profound things to write about (maybe).