After many years of cars, motorbikes, biplanes, speedboats, helicopters, and hoverboards, Fortnite has finally incorporated a railway line.
As a “Battle Royal” online fighting game, with an ever-shrinking playing arena and 99 other players trying to kill you, Fortnite doesn’t really lend itself to public transport. [1]
The automobile and the gun reign supreme here. The individualistic yearning for the doomed mirage of freedom is what inspires these players, and distracts them from the poisoned clouds gathering overhead.
Still. Progress has finally come.
My character, Butt Empire, parasoled down to view the centrepiece of the line: a viaduct reminiscent of Brunel’s early work, such as the Wharncliffe Viaduct in Hanwell; or perhaps Robert Stephenson’s Royal Border Bridge over the Tweed.
Stealing a motorbike for a closer look, I was disappointed to discover this was only a single-track line.
Given the huge amount of work that must have gone into the construction of such a substantial bridge, it’s baffling that the engineers didn’t at least make this double-track at the very least.
My disappointment increased when I saw the route, and the rolling stock. A large circular track, which doesn’t seem even to connect *any* significant population areas, and a single train (that single track issue), designed for cargo rather than for passengers.
The “cargo only” service became even more baffling when I discovered Grand Station, clearly designed for passenger use.
There are even ticket barriers and tannoy announcements, suggesting that the island is planning to introduce a passenger service in the near future, once they’ve eliminated the heavily armed, Eastern European assassins who lurk on the platforms.
The station architecture is interesting. The original building feels like something built by 19th century Germans, like a smaller version of Istanbul’s Haydarpaşa.
The more modern facade added to the east is a banal, glass-and-steel affair that was probably built around the time they renovated Liverpool Street [1].
I wanted to spend a bit more time exploring the line, and pondering, like Lisa Simpson, why they’ve built a mass-transit system in a small town with a centralized population.
But then some online children started shooting at me, and I had to run away.
[1] Beyond, of course, the flying school bus that brings you to murder island in the first place.
jamesofwalsh 