I took a break from being in the Next Level cast this month, but was still roped in for hosting duties. I happily accepted this: it’s nice to feel wanted.

So instead of the usual pre-show rehearsal and running around in a panic, I was able to have a beer downstairs with Paul and King Nathan, only occasionally popping up to check how my sauna sketch was going (noisily) and how the guest acts were getting on (fine).

Ticket sales were great this month, and I took to the stage just after eight to a nice, full-feeling room.

With only MCing duties to focus on, I had written LOTS of material, most of which I either disregarded, or ended up not using due to time.

This is because I am disorganised.

But it is also because, as host, the night isn’t about me.

It’s about warming the audience up in a way that makes it clear this is going to be an ALTERNATIVE comedy night, keeping things moving, and being the butt of the joke if necessary.

At least, this is my own, personal, and developing take on it.

I really enjoy MCing and hopefully I’m getting a bit better at it.

I was supposed to come on stage to “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship, but the song didn’t work, so I had to sing it a Capella, for which I got a round of applause and I made an off-the-cuff comment about now knowing which people in the audience were old.

“You are not allowed to heckle the acts, but the acts ARE allowed to heckle you.

“That’s just showbusiness.”

I had decided that SCAMS was to be the theme of the day, as inspired by the Glasgow Willy Wonka Experience Fiasco, a news story already the stuff of internet lore.

As the audience filtered in, I asked them to write down their favourite scam, and asked if anyone had ever scammed the Great British Public.

This led to an awkward, if enjoyable, chat with Alex in the front row, during which I made it appear that the official NLS position is that, errrr, the very concept of migration is a scam.

I didn’t want to say too much about Glaswegian Wonka specifically, because I knew we had a Wonka sketch – an accidentally topical Wonka sketch – and wanted people to have the story in their minds without killing the joke.

So instead I read a list of things I personally believe are scams from a bit of paper. Including:

• Neoliberalism
• Austerity
• The Health and Wellness Industry
• Birds (obviously clockwork)
• Nation States (Victorian-ass scam)
• Phrenology (same)
• AI
• Electric cars as a solution for our overlapping climate, congestion, inactivity and air pollution crises
• Twitter
• Elon Musk (see the above)
• HR (“Anyone here work in HR?“ “Yes”, came a terse voice from the front row
• Hovercrafts
• Improv – “It’s a pyramid scheme”, I explained
• The Pyramids – “They’re a Pyramid Scheme”, I explained.

I then desperately flitted through my papers to find the name of the first act, as I was nervous about pronouncing Divakaran correctly.

I heard a laugh from towards the back at the room at this chaos, and riffed off that for a bit – if you think this is bad, you should know I have a pair of damp pants in my pocket from the laundrette, etc – and introduced Vidya Divakaran, aka The Slug In The Club.

She was amazing – a very high energy clown, getting the night off to a lively start with audience on-stage dancing; hilarious reaction to clips of being chatted up by excruciating straight guys; and taking a break in the smoking area for existential and queer interaction with the lovely, lovely audience.

As I said to the crowd, Vidya co-runs the ace Soft Play Area in Dalston – check it out!

Post-slug, I came back onstage in my jacket, so I could pull my damp post-laundrette pants from my pocket.

“You see?”

Some of the audience laughed, and a lot of the audience wanted me to move on from pants. This, I refused to do.

Next up was Next Level Sketch, which I was able to enjoy from the comfort of next to King Nathan in the third row.

It was a nice feeling, being able to watch our show without being distracted by actually being in it for a change.

I’d say it was one of our top three shows ever, in terms of audience reaction. After a slow start, people seemed really into pretty much every sketch – Dorsey, the accidentally-topical Wonka knockoff Billy Wanker, and the disorganised chaos of Dick Van Dyke (father of Barry Van Dyke) and his business management advice.

I only had one sketch in the show: my ludicrous sauna sketch, with Jamie, Rebecca and Greg as the grunters. They did a really good job of escalating the noises and the general vibes, and the audience were properly into it.

Props too for Paul’s policeman, who really leant into the idea of Swedish national pride for the punchline (this sentence makes absolutely no sense unless you’ve seen the thing)

Our set concluded, riotously, with Paul as Returning Champion Sir Kier Starmer, having a sensible, moderate date with his significant other, Sir Wife Starmer.

It was a triumphant show, and the punters were sent off for their mid-show pints and wee (not pints of wee) with joy in their hearts and a spring in their collective step.

All the acts in the second half were amazing.

I began the section by reading out some of the scams suggested by the audience, including “face cream” and “blueberries”. There was one I couldn’t quite make out, and so threw to the floor, before saying:

“Don’t worry, it didn’t say 9/11”.

Dian, from the tech booth, said, “Dude, no one was even thinking that!”

“And as you know, I’m literally from New York.”

“I know. That’s why you probably weren’t involved.”

Chris East was thus introduced, to his delight, as someone who definitely had nothing to do with 9/11, and did an amazing, improvised set detailing his lovely mastery of stupidity, anticipation, and repetition.

The mood in the room was far too positive after Chris’ set; I felt it was time to insert some tension.

Fortunately, I’d pre-planned Greg to host on my behalf (outsourcing: another SCAM), and he very charismatically extracted energy from the room by riffing on the existence of AI Nash, as opposed to Al Nash.

When Al eventually made it to the stage, as a Michael Buble impersonator, he was absolutely incredible. He is a master of character comedy and I hope he comes back to our stage again soon.

Our headliner was Rosalie Minnitt, fresh from a sold out, Grauniad-reviewed run at the Soho Theatre.

One of the reasons I love our night so much is the opportunity to see performers I love try out material and experiment with their characters a bit in front of an audience that they know, absolutely, will be supportive and on side.

From her preposterous entrance over the audience, everyone “got” Rosalie’s character from before even she made it to the stage, and her material was fabulous, layered, and absurd.

All in all, one of my favourite ever Next Level Sketches. It’s almost a shame our next show isn’t til April… but we shall scheme and plot and write jokes in the meantime.

p.s. a fabulous exchange with Chris East after the show…